Good Ol' Nostalgia

Disclaimer: Upon realizing these projects were due the next day, Jonathan grabbed his camera phone and made his way outside. Unfortunately, it was 7:00 pm and pitch black. The flash makes the pictures manageable, and hopefully the stories behind them make up for the lack of quality.

***

The basketball hoop brings me way back to the elementary days, when I would stay out way too late and shoot hoops. Honestly, basketball was the greatest hobby for me. I could spend hours simply shooting layups. Seriously, I loved this sport to death, and it's just a shame that stuff happened the way it did and made me lose interest in it. I wonder how much my skills would have improved if only I had kept playing. I've considered starting up again, but it's difficult to put myself back out there after quitting. Too many bitter memories. Nothing too crazy, just enough to hold me back. Anyways, moving away from the gushy stuff, I just remember playing with my close friend and neighbor, Ben, and we would do all sorts of funny trick shots and play pick up games with the neighborhood kids. Great times and awesome nostalgia when I look at that hoop.

 Let me tell you why I took a picture of the bumpter of my mom's Acura. This memory is more recent, but it still feels great. In my middle school/ high school era, I would gather friends and my sisters and we would all play great games of flashlight tag. It's basically hide and seek, except you have to shine a flashlight and say the person's name before they reach the base (my mom's car) in order for them to be out. Simple premise, exquisite fun. Great times, and I'm shocked at some of the friends I convinced to play such a childish game. Just goes to show how much fun doing silly little things can be with the people you love.

My final picture is one of very recent memories, but I know that they will be very fond. Just this past Sunday I attended the Seahawks vs. 49ers NFC Championship game in Seattle. It was a phenomenal experience, obviously, and I'm so glad I could share it with 68,000+ other fans. This picture was captured afterwards when the Seahawks were victorious. Just some random building with the lights turned on in a way that fashioned a 12 in the building. It just feels great that an entire city can unify over something like a football team. The culture created from the Seahawk fanbase is one that I am infinitely proud to say I'm a part of, and I will remain a 12th man no matter where I travel in life, or how well they continue to play.

Fun assignment. Evokes some sad and cool memories at the same time. Getting in touch with my aesthetics isn't something I often do, so it's nice to take a step back from life to reflect on my past. 

Woe is Me

It might have been the turkey that I ate

Or simply my unproductivity

My sad tendency to procrastinate

Amounts in this here blog being tardy

The brainwashing effects of a Netflix
Series that I enjoy watching all day
Has gotten me in quite a tragic fix
Which causes me some sadness and dismay

This iPad keyboard is quite troublesome
I keep on clicking on the wrong letters
But I don't plan on being some old bum
So here I sit making this blog better

If ever approaches another break
The same sad mistake I hope not to make

Yo Creon, I'm undefeated in the prediction game!

Dearest Creon,

I find it increasingly difficult to hold my tongue when you go passing barbaric decrees in light of this most recent conundrum. I may be blind, but that does not mean that I cannot foresee the grave consequences of your brutish order. For some reason, even though you "have so far steered a steady course" after heeding all of my advice, you simply refuse to remove thy head from your posterior on this one! (152) You have let yourself become so overwhelmed with vengeance and allowed your petty pride to consume your soul! I may have faulty eyes, but you sir are the blind one! Oh, Creon, "only a fool is governed by self-will". (153) Do not allow your hateful heart to govern your life, or you shall end up losing all that you love and destroying this city with your power!

          I apologize for that outburst, for I mean no disrespect, it is simply that I cannot bear to watch a man make a fool of himself and cause turmoil to a city simply because of his own immaturity. It is understandable that you fear for the safety of your people, but it is absurd to deny Polynices a proper burial because of that. It simply "the blood of Oedipus" which is causing all of this. (153) The curse lies within his family, so you cannot blame Polynices for his triumphant efforts. And even if you were to hold a grudge, you have conquered the man and proven your superiority, and ought that not be enough? Let go of your trivial grievances, my lord, or you shall bring misery to all who rely on you.
Sincerely,
Your Homie Teiresias

He's Got Potential

I moseyed my way down the stairs, exhausted due to the fact that it was 4 in the morning and I couldn't fall back asleep. This always happened to me. Once I woke up, there was no going back to sleep. It's a brutal consequence that comes with aging. So many responsibilities and so few hours of sleep. I figured it wasn't worth my worry as my bare foot slapped against the cold wooden floor at the bottom of the steps.

As I proceeded towards the kitchen, it was obvious that somebody was up. Every downstairs light was on and I could hear a slight shuffling of papers on the table. It was Jonathan again. It amazed me that he could be up at such an early hour. His circadian clock was so out of whack. I had always wondered how he managed to go about his daily tasks on such few hours of sleep. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't sure if he had gone to bed at all, or just decided to wake up before the birds.

"Doing some homework?" I asked absentmindedly. It was fairly obvious, but I felt inclined to ask given the odd circumstance.

"Yup" he replied, not bothering to look up. I habitually grabbed a mug out of the cupboard and made my way over to the Keurig.

"How much ya got?" I inquired further, only mildly interested.

"A decent amount" retorted Jonathan. He obviously wasn't in the mood to talk to me. I was just trying to be a concerned father. I opted to grab my coffee and head back upstairs.

I plopped myself down in the swivel chair and gave the computer mouse a shake to wake it up. I continued thinking about Jonathan. It was so peculiar the way he lived his life. He went about school work in such an inconsistent manner, it really made me wonder what goes on in his head sometimes. I realize he's still just a teenager, but it was still intriguing the way he worked sometimes. One week he's diligent about his tasks and does everything in his power to get them finished, and the next he seems to have given up completely.

Suddenly I heard the creak of floorboards behind me. Apparently I was too deep in thought to hear him coming up the stairs.

"I'm going to bed" said Jonathan matter-of-fact.

"You haven't gone to bed yet?" I asked in a shocked tone.

"Obviously not" he snapped back at me.

I slowly spun back around and faced the harsh contrast of light emitted from the monitor.

Do the Hokey Pokey

Bubbles kept surfacing as I watched the man cook his heroin. He probably did this on a daily basis, too. He had special equipment right there on the sidewalk. He was right in plain sight, with people all around him, and yet there he was preparing his poison on open display. There was a woman sitting next to him as he swirled around the fancy container he was cooking it in. He even had the specialized cup plugged into an outlet. The length people will go to for their vices.

Sounds like I quoted a movie, huh? Or maybe something from a crime novel portraying a crooked and depraved society that allows all sorts of wicked actions to pass by unnoticed? Because, after all, there's no place where somebody could feel comfortable whipping up a batch of narcotics with hundreds of witnesses surrounding him, right? Not the case. What makes this situation even crazier is the fact that I saw this with my own two eyes. I stood there, in the flesh, about one foot away as a junkie got his fix. By now I'm sure you're wondering where the hell I was at. Fret not, I won't drag this out any longer. I was in San Francisco, but even more specifically, I was in a place that most refer to as the "Tenderloin District". But many people aren't even aware that this place exists. To be honest, I didn't know where it was until I went there in April of 2013.

The Tenderloin District. It's in the heart of San Francisco, and somehow the majority of Americans haven't even heard of it before. It's only a square mile, but that doesn't stop it from being one of the most notorious places in the country. It's got a dense population and has become a melting pot for underprivileged and broken people. If you're a heavy user of drugs, odds are good that you'll set your path to go to the TL. It's insanely inexpensive to live there, and laws are virtually non-existent. Taking all of this into consideration, my youth pastor decided that this was an ideal place to take a group of teenagers for ministry.

Now that you have an idea of what kind of setting I was in during my stay in the Tenderloin, I need to explain why it is worthy of being my personal statement. With the extreme environment that I was situated in, I realized that there is in fact a broader world than what I usually think about. I know, how cliche of me. Well, in retrospect, it has dawned on me that I haven't pushed myself to understand anything other than my own little bubble. My own life was nice and comfy, and I liked that. I didn't need to step outside of my boundaries, as long as I've got my own place where I can be safe. In fact, just two months prior to this service trip, I had gone on another endeavor with that same youth group to a retreat called Generation Unleashed. In short, this was a place where Christians could gather around and talk about God and express their feelings for him. While this was probably useful for plenty of people that attended GU, I am now beginning to see that it wasn't appropriate for me at the time. I wasn't in the right place. I for sure felt like I was in the right place. It was a fantastic feeling, with all the powerful music and inspiring messages being cloaked over me. But it wasn't really helping me. I was only feeling, in essence, a form of ecstasy. It felt right, but was I really helping myself? Was I really helping others? No. And this is where my journey began. I didn't notice it at the time, but half a year later and I can see clearly that it wasn't where I needed to be. What I did need was an eye opener, and boy did I get one when I took a plane to the Tenderloin.

So how does this all relate? I'll try to keep this brief instead of my typical rambling. I've been spiritually complacent my entire life. I was born into the church, everyone I knew was a Christian, and I did the holy tango my entire life. That tango turned into a ballet when I went to Generation Unleashed. I thought I had it all together. I thought I was actually being a good Christian person! The nerve of that is kind of astounding when I think about it. As soon as I went on the service trip to San Francisco, my dance was over. It was time for me to stand still and listen to the critics, and man did they have some news for me. What I thought was a beautiful compilation of dance moves was nothing more than an awkward display of fumbling around. I wasn't putting on a beautiful performance, at least not in the eyes of God. All he saw was me stumbling over my own feet and calling it art. I can tell you one thing; my lifelong performance belonged anywhere except in a museum.

There's no happy ending to this story. Well, at least not yet. I still have to recover from the harsh reviews of the judges and carry on. My journey is not even close to being complete. In fact, it will more than likely be a continual, lifelong quest. I still have many moves to perfect, starting with myself. How can I expect to impact the audience if I don't even know the choreography? I'm still working on the routine, but the fact that I came to terms with my sub-par performance thus far is a huge step. I will continue to perfect each and every action in my life. C.S. Lewis once wrote that “The Voyage will be a success only... if each ship is seaworthy and has her engines in good order." Referring to the Christian's journey towards God, this analogy is one that has really stuck with me from Lewis' book Mere Christianity. There are other essential parts of that passage that Lewis talks about, but for now I need to focus on my own ship. I can't very well set sail, or for my own analogy's sake, put on a good performance, if I don't even know what I'm doing. I have to get my act together in order to be of any use beyond my own self. Once I establish that part of my life, I can continue forth on my voyage to the big showcase. Only then can I spread my light to others effectively. To reach Swan Lake, I must first learn the hokey pokey.

The Results Are In

ESTP

Extravert(22%)  Sensing(1%)  Thinking(62%)  Perceiving(11)%

You have slight preference of Extraversion over Introversion (22%)
You have marginal or no preference of Sensing over Intuition (1%)
You have distinctive preference of Thinking over Feeling (62%)
You have slight preference of Perceiving over Judging (11%)

ESTPs are spontaneous, active folks. Like the other SPs, ESTPs get great satisfaction from acting on their impulses. Activities involving great power, speed, thrill and risk are attractive to the ESTP. Chronic stifling of these impulses makes the ESTP feel "dead inside."

Gamesmanship is the calling card of the ESTP. Persons of this type have a natural drive to best the competition. Some of the most successful salespersons are ESTPs. P.T. Barnum ("Never give a sucker an even break") illustrates the unscrupulous contingent of this type.

Almost unconsciously the ESTP looks for nonverbal, nearly subliminal cues as to what makes her quarry "tick." Once she knows, she waits for just the right time to trump the unsuspecting victim's ace and glory in her conquest. Oddly enough, the ESTP seems to admire and respect anyone who can beat her at her own game.

"If I was any better, I couldn't stand it!" To an ESTP, admission of weakness feels like failure. He admires strength in himself and in others.

"Shock effect" is a favored technique of this type to get the attention of his audience. ESTPs love to be at center stage, demonstrating feats of wonder and daring.

***

It's difficult to say whether these characteristics are accurate or if it's just some great placebo effect. I feel more empowered as a person after reading each neat thing about an ESTP, but then I have to realize it's a computer program. It doesn't really know me. So, I take this quiz with a grain of salt. That being said, I do think that some of these attributes resonate inside me on a personal level. For example, I can usually tell how a person's feeling just by watching their body language. The way I choose to react, well, that's completely up to me as an individual, but for the most part I feel like I can adapt in most situations. As for the "great power, speed, thrill and risk" part, I'm not so sure. Yes, I do enjoy certain adrenaline pumping activities, but for the most part I'm pretty content just going about daily life. Also, I'm not as competitive as the results imply. Granted, I don't enjoy failing, but it's not as if I'm crushed by it bar a few scenarios. Unless I'm truly passionate about something, I'm content with learning from my failures and picking myself back up.

Also, I'm sort of on the fence when it talks about the whole "shock effect". Sometimes I enjoy having all eyes on me (usually when I'm acting like a total dork), but for the most part I'd prefer if people would divert their eyes lest they want me to give them judgmental looks. 

All in all, the quiz was very entertaining and I feel like I can draw some conclusions out of the plethora of feedback. I will be taking it with a grain of salt, of course, and more than likely will take most of my advice from the affirmation solicitation sheets that my peers so kindly took their time to complete. Here is my favorite response:

1) Friendly

2) Loyal

3) Funny

4) Enthusiastic

5) Honest

Jonathan has a great personality. If he is capable of expressing what a friendly guy he is through his essay, I think he'll be very successful in his college search. Maybe a funny anecdote would be helpful as far as brainstorming is concerned.

Apparently, my "rabbi" thinks I'm a friendly individual. I am honored and will heed his advice.

PS Not really my rabbi

A Little Talk about the PP

That's right, I'm going to delve into the preposterousness of pride.

I do realize in class that we touched upon the subject of pride being the "worst sin", but I feel that I didn't share enough. Well... I didn't utter a word. But it didn't have anything to do with being afraid to speak up. I just couldn't piece the words together in my head. There was a plethora of thoughts floating around, but they were all bumping into each other and causing absolute mayhem in my mind. Later, I decided to simply look up a quote about pride in Mere Christianity, and sure enough Lewis was there to save the day. He declared that “[a] proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.”

Couldn't have said it better myself! In reference to my aforementioned statement, I feel like we didn't cover this subject enough in class. Maybe it was because we were all incredibly frazzled (yes, that is a word), or quite possibly everybody else was having the same dilemma as me. In any case, I thought it was important to take note on why pride is the worst sin of them all. Now don't get me wrong, a sin is a sin in the eyes of God and will be judged accordingly. That being said, I don't think pride is a greater sin than the rest, but rather a more dangerous one. That's right, in a world full of delinquent and juvenile sins, pride is the methodical serial killer that works behind the scenes. Nobody notices it, but it causes the most damage.

I thought you (Mrs. Myers) made an excellent point about pride during the discussion in class. You said something along the lines of "you may not realize it, but pride is the underlying factor in all sins". That was insanely paraphrased of course, but that's the main idea I took out of it. You said that if we steal something from another person, we think we deserve it more than they do. Also, if we sabotage another man's work, we do it because we consider our own needs above the needs of others. In a way, these all relate to pride and the concern with only one's own well-being.

My biggest takeaway from the whole ordeal of pride was what Lewis touched on in his book: if we are too preoccupied with controlling those that we consider below us, we will lose sight on why we are even living in the first place. Our entire worldview is rattled if we go from focusing on God to focusing on ourselves. The reason why non-Christians don't even know what pride is (in the context of a sin) is because they have no God to look to. I know this isn't true in all cases, but for the vast majority of secular individuals, thinking about themselves is the only thing that keeps them going. They worry about their own success, their own family, their own home, their own toys, their own everything. They are so occupied with what they want, that they slowly begin losing any sense of empathy for other human beings.

I realize that I went off on kind of a tangent, but hey, that's what blogs are for right? Anyhow, I just want to wrap things up with a quick synopsis. To anybody reading this and trying to pry out a deeper meaning, understand this: God's will for your life is more than likely different than your own. If it doesn't benefit the kingdom of God's people, than it isn't worth doing. The reason pride is so dangerous is because it consumes people from the inside out without them even realizing it. Unless you specifically look for pride (and trust me, we all have a little bit of it), you won't even know that it exists within you. It is the root of all evil in my opinion, and deserves to be brought to the public's attention.

P.S. C.S. Lewis is an amazing author that has inspired my inner thoughts to become more concrete and believable. He helps clarify a lot of doubts for me, and that is the key to having good faith.